How to move through Imposter Syndrome & Comparison-itis

Imposter syndrome as an artist and small business owner

Hey lovely ones,
I hope your all doing well.

I recently came across a post in an Indie Biz Community group I am part of. It was from a woman who was feeling called to really step into being an illustrator. The thing that was wobbling her was this notion of being self taught illustrator/creative somehow meant that she wasn’t a “real” illustrator. 

The community is incredible and everyone rallied round with beautiful comments of support. Many of us are self taught creatives and shared our journey of learning how to own the titles we give ourselves within our businesses.

It inspired me to share a bit about my journey and reflections on imposter syndrome and comparison-itis, which lets face it we have all experienced at some point. 

Finding Stillness by Jules @Kamala_Creations

When you start a business and as your side hustle grows you will probably find that you will start showing your little business in the sphere of social media. Social media is an incredible tool for sharing your work and Social Media Marketing is a huge part of many small business owner’s marketing strategies (check me out with my fancy terminology don’t I sound all professional! haha). It takes a lot of work alongside the pieces you create to create content for the many different channels you can promote your work through. 

When I started my adventure into self discovery I remember shedding layers and finding the courage to step outside of my comfort zone and share my work. It can be an incredibly vulnerable thing to share your work with the world as a creative. You often put your heart and soul into your creations and the process can be quite personal, so putting it out there for all to see can make you feel quite in the spotlight. 

When you start your different social media channels you are stating yourself as an artist or illustrator or whatever it is that you do.  Giving ourselves these titles can be quite a huge step. 

As someone who is completely self taught in illustrating, graphic design (bar some experience from high school) it felt like I couldn’t really call myself these things as I wasn’t formally trained. To be honest I don’t believe that you need a degree to give ourselves these titles. I know many people who have spent years committed to their practice and because of that they are incredible artists. Studying these subjects is an extremely helpful process and we will be taught techniques and be able to explore different styles but really it comes down to practice. With the internet at our fingertips we can literally find anything we want to learn on places like YouTube or through artists who are offering online classes and courses.  

The thing is it’s not always an easy ride. Putting ourselves out there on the internet and showing our faces can be quite a process. Self doubt can kick in and we can start feeling like a bit of an imposter against all the other people we see with their slick ass branding and on point content. The thing is even the best art techniques and training won’t help you outrun confidence issues. It’s a struggle that many creatives will come up against. Your confidence issues can cause you to question yourself even more if you see likes and follows on social media pages as a validation point for how worthy and good we feel about your work. And trust me I have been there too. 

The thing is imposter syndrome isn’t based on reality. It’s based on a perception we have and our mental mind chatter. It’s your mind running with fear and going wild of negative thoughts and self doubt. 

As creatives (and humans in general) looking after our mental and emotional wellbeing should be a top priority. I am a big believer in living life to its fullest and equipping our emotional wellbeing toolkit with practices to help us move through emotions rather than holding onto them.

Before I go into some tools you can use to help move through imposter syndrome I need to address the issue of comparisonitis. Something that you will most likely be feeling alongside imposter syndrome. 

There’s no way that being on social media as a small business owner or creative hasn’t made you compare yourself to other people who look like they’re doing “better” than you. People who maybe have more followers or likes and comments than you. Or maybe you think your work is rubbish in comparison to theirs. 

So what can you do to shift imposter syndrome and comparisonitis?

The first thing I will say about comparisonitis is stop judging your level of experience against another person’s level. You have no idea what background or journey that person has been on and it’s more than likely that they compare themselves against other people too! 

Be inspired by other artists. Something I have learnt with comparisonitis is that as soon as you notice your mood drop, a negative thought or a judgement come into your head then you need to stop scrolling on social media. When you look at peoples work look at it for inspiration not as a judgement piece to drag yourself down. What can you learn from that person’s work, are there elements that you would like to incorporate into your own work?

Here are 3 ways you can shift imposter syndrome:

Change your space.Step away from your work, take a break and do something different. Go for a walk, put your favourite music on and dance. Shifting your space is incredibly important when we go into a negative emotional state. Our energy gets stagnant and we end up in this loop of self doubt and dullness. Anytime I feel in a funk and hear the inner critic enter my mind I stop. 

Use Emotional Clearing. This is an incredible tool I use regularly for shifting emotions. Emotional Clearing is a method of using kinesiology and muscle testing to clear emotions from our body. Dane Thomas is the creator of this incredible modality and has trained hundreds of people to become Spiral Practitioners who use this method of emotional clearing. He has created a free video series explaining how to use emotional clearing and has also written a book on it called Clear Your Shit which goes into all the different clears you can do. I highly recommend getting on the videos and reading the book as it is an incredibly powerful tool. 


You can do emotional clearing on a variety of things from statement clears like “I’m Okay with feeling like an imposter in my work” and “I’m not okay with feeling like an imposter in my work”. It’s important when you do a statement clear you clear both sides, being okay and not being okay. 

Become a risk taker. Fear is a natural human instinct it tells you to stand back from the cliffe edge or run from danger. It is trying to keep you safe. We have to really work on ourselves in our fear state to be able to shift it. 

The thing is fear can propel us into incredible opportunities. The problem is when it keep you from doing the things you really want to do. You know, those things that would make your art and business level up. 

Being safe isn’t always the best place to be. The fear that we have when imposter syndrome kicks in is not fear for our safety it’s actually a fear of failure. We don’t want to leave our little bubble of comfort and be seen failing in front of others. 

To get past fear we have to become more acquainted with the idea that failure isn’t the end of the world. 

So take those risks and put your work out there. Not for anyone else but yourself. Use putting it out there as a way to document it for yourself. 

Create a celebrations box for yourself. As artists and entrepreneurs you have a responsibility to acknowledge and celebrate your own successes. 

Next time you create a piece of work that you’re proud of or you sell a piece of your work write down the accomplishment and how it made you feel. Keep it in a little box so that you can pick yourself back up when you need it. 

So remember that you are worthy, your work is good enough and the great thing is that there is alway’s new things to learn. 

When you find yourself spiraling into self doubt, judgement and comparisonitis, step away. 

Celebrate all the little wins, all the pieces you create, all the sales you make and complements you get about your work. Celebrate it all!

I hope that something through what I have shared with you has landed. 

Wishing you a beautiful day.

All my love,

Jules

Finding Balance

Finding balance in motherhood

With everything that’s going on in the world It seemed best to take a slow and gentle approach to the start of 2021.

Here in the UK it’s still going to be a while till we find a new normal and so I decided to take my time and continue the retreat through January.

Working with the seasons like this is a great way to bring more flow into your life. Winter = Retreat time!

One of the biggest lessons I had last year was trying to do too much.
It was my first year being a mum back at work again and running a business as well as trying to keep on top of everything else.
Often I found myself taking on everything which created more tension and frustration within me. Really what I should have been doing is asking for help.

Because that’s the thing right, as mums we find ourselves pulled in so many directions that often it can feel easier to try and do it all ourselves. When really this is a recipe for disaster. We can’t work from a burnt out space. It just won’t work. We need elements of release factored into our time so that we can unwind and re-energise ourselves.

I know for me that because I didn’t factor in these times as much as I should have been doing that I became a ticking time bomb ready to explode. 

Thankfully I have a great partner that more often than not knows me better than I do myself. He regularly called me out and put his foot down that I NEEDED to take some time out.

So this year I have decided to optimise my time, make self care practices my priority and to ask for help when I need it.

Finding balance in Motherhood and the hats we wear takes daily tinkering.
Some days move with ease, some can be a challenge. Children bring an element of chaos to life, especially when they’re little. This means that if we have big goals set for our day and they’re going through something like a growth spurt, an illness or maybe teething can throw a spanner in the works. The amount we could do one day suddenly goes to pot and requires us to drop our expectations, some days that may look like dropping everything so that we can solely focus on our children when they need us.

One thing I have found is that when things just aren’t working and our children are wanting our attention it is best to stop trying to force something that isn’t going to work. If we push we will find ourselves in a space of tension and forcefully trying to do something. When we push we come up against more resistance. When we let go you will probably find that you have a really beautiful experience of focused attention solely on your little one/s. And well, that will do wonders for the both of you.

So what are on my list of priorities when it comes to self care and things that nourish me?

Firstly it’s art. Art brings me into a space of flow and that feeling of flow allows the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that rationalising things, making decision processing information) to go dark. This means the mind is then free to act in new ways, reach new conclusions and function beyond the disparaging voice of our inner critic. As a result, the mind adopts a novel, childlike perspective which produces associations and conclusions that are daring, innovative and courageous. Basically it allows your mind to quieten and allow time to slip away and get really present in the moment.

Second is Journaling. Journaling allows me to express the messiness of my monkey mind. I find that my mind is so active that sometimes I need to be able to brain dump it somewhere. This helps me to get it out and let it go. I also use an art journal where I use papers and other bits from around my house to make messy journal spreads which I cover with whatever musings are coming to me at the time. I find it really therapeutic.

Third is Meditation. Meditation is another practice that allows me to step out of my monkey mind and learn to find quiet within. I say practice because it is a daily practice and something that I am forever learning to improve. I do really love the guided meditations that take you on a journey through visualisations. They’re like travelling within my mind!

A few others include having bubble baths, reading and getting out in nature is a big one for me, although I haven’t been getting out as much as I should/would like to be doing.

So yeah, this is my musings on finding balance in motherhood and creating self care practices that nurture me and nourish me as a woman and mother.

I’d love to hear what your making a priority this year?

Big love, 

Jules xo

A permission piece: Owning my Witchywoo

Claim all layers of yourself

Last year I had a couple of really juicy conversations with dear friends of mine and each sparked something in me. One sister I spoke to mentioned her visioning experiences and learnings that she feels are along her lifepath. With another sister  I had expressed a feeling of uncertainty and direction in where I wanted to go with my offerings. I expressed that I find that I’m a dabbler in many things and because of this there seems to be no clear niche. She posed to me a couple of questions.  

Where do all the things I do meet? 

And

Who do I want to be?

 These are pretty profound questions and moved me into a space of reflection.

My trusty tool to explore these questions was my journal.  I love a blank page in my journal to be able to move through my inner landscape and open up space for the new. 

I found myself going round and around, answering the question of who do I want to be over and over again. It brought me to a place of having some quite profound realisations.  

I realised that there’s a side of myself needs more space to be expressed, to be heard and to be seen.  She’s the part of myself that is philosophical and loved to explore the metaphysical by going beneath the surface to explore the inner workings of herself.  She loves to explore emotions, beliefs, behaviours and her triggers.  She likes breaking them down, getting to the root of them and clearing them so that she can be a more fully expanded version of herself. She strives to bring more magic into her life.  Creating ritual and sacred space to go within. 

This layer of myself is who I call my witchy woo. 

I am giving her space to express and to be seen.

We all need a bit more magic, creativity and healing in our lives and my witchy woo woo is all for that!

Art Journaling process around claiming my Witchywoo @kamala_creations

My witchy woo has taken me on a profound journey over the last 5 years. She followed her curiosity and joined women in circles for deep processes working with the moon and menstrual cycles. She took me on a healing journey through The Spiral and Pelvic Bowl Activations with Deep Inner Knowing & Vela Souls. She even got qualified as a Reiki Master (though she has never really shared this). Over the past five years this journey of expansion and evolution that I have been on thanks to my witchy woo  has allowed me to create a toolkit of wellness and healing practices that nourish me to my core. This tool kit brings me back into alignment and grounds me so that I can fully express myself. Where I can dip into different modalities of emotional clearing, embodiment and shadow work to traverse the mucky stuff that inevitably comes up in life.

The thing is, I often find myself dimming down my interests in metaphysical and spiritual practices even if some are now more common like meditation, yoga and tarot. There has still been a sort of embarrassment of being judged for being a bit wacky. What I have come to see is  that when I dim this down in my posts and blogs that actually I am dimming down a part of my personality. I am dimming down myself,  which is not okay. 

So here I am claiming my witchy woo. She makes me feel unbelievably connected and gives me full permission to listen to my inner guidance system. When I listen to her I have the most fulfilling nourishing experiences that really refuel me. My witchywoo brings me into the most authentic version of myself over and over again and for that I am thankful. Because of my Witchywoo I have the most incredible relationships with people in my life and feel really connected to the fact that I feel I am living my life to its fullest.

So here is your permission piece. If there was one message I would like to get across to you through sharing what I have learned from my witchywoo is don’t play down a part of yourself, OWN IT. It might be one of your strongest and most incredible elements that make up you. 

Here is a couple of journal prompts to get you going:

Is there something that you do that makes you feel so good but you hide it from others?

What is it? How does it make you feel?

Why do you think you may hide it from the others? 

If you were to own that part of yourself with no judgement how would it make you feel?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. 

Big love,

Jules xo

Inner Union by Jyoti Imix Ryder

Inner Union, masculine and feminine

This is a transmission shared by my beautiful friend and sister Jyoti. Here she writes beautifully about the inner union of the masculine and feminine energies which we each hold within us.

(Jyoti and I have formed a beautiful friendship over the years. We both expanded out at similar times and our paths started crossing more and more. I have so much love for this woman and each time we see each other again its like nothing has ever changed. Its one of those friendships (the best kind). More information on what Jyoti does and her current offerings are at the bottom of the blog.)

INNER UNION

Its time for us to unite
Our inner energies
To access Christ consciousness
The activation of the masculine and feminine qualities & energies within us
The embodiment of the teachings of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
The Awakened Human Heart
There is a King and Queen inside of us
An inner man
And an inner woman
That combined create a sovereign self
We can be all that we dream of
To ourselves
And for ourselves
I would argue that ONLY THEN
Can we possibly truly ‘meet’ another on the external
And be of service to one another without agenda
We were taught
That men are this way
And women are that
Men have these qualities
And women have those
Which taught us to deny half of our selves
Or feel utterly lost in the human experience
Missing out on the stoking of certain qualities
And causing us to search for them outside of ourselves

For instance yesterday
My dear sis and I
Celebrated ourselves CONSTANTLY
As we followed a magical map
Across the moors in Ilkley
On our own
Without signs or marked paths
We’d both been taught
That a man was bestowed with the qualities needed to navigate

And had snoozed at the wheel following the narrative
But ALAS dear family
We are being asked
Pushed
Dragged
Gloriously forced
To rise into our wholeness
To know ourselves
Hold ourselves in our storms
Comfort ourselves in our heaviness
Celebrate ourselves in our glory
Forgive ourselves in our shadow dances
Pleasure ourselves in our sexuality
Steady ourselves in our uncertainty
Motivate ourselves to strive and claim
Call bullshit on ourselves when we’re being daft
And shower ourselves in the love we so deserve
When we can embody what we seek externally in another
We come home
We access our power
We find the Glory of God within
We clear the distortions
And can step into our fullness
This time on the planet
Is really revealing to us where we abandon our power

Where we abandon ourselves
The way that we project our authority outward
And seemingly always have done
Victims of this and that and the other

NA MATE
WE ARE THE CREATORS

But only we can claim our power
Nobody is gonna give it to us
The whole human process is about us feeling worthy and powerful enough
To let our booty and being rest in the creative throne
Of the Kingdom of our Life
The King and Queen embody all the other archetypes
We’ve been taught again and again that we are pawns
But the reality is that in this chess game
We are every single piece
And both players
The claiming of our inner sovereignty
And activating the powerful archetypes within
Is our doorway
To the claiming of our throne
Each one of us on our own throne
(BU BYE HIERARCHY)
Is the potential of this Earth Humanity dance
And where all the crazy shit in our individual lives and our collective reality
Is attempting to guide us to
We are creating it all
And when we truly step out of victim consciousness
By claiming our whole selves
We get to steer the ship of reality
A couple of days ago
I experienced a blissful inner union marriage ritual
My inner woman and man
Committed to one another
Through vows, song and ceremony
And it was beyond all I could possibly have imagined before
Immediately the distortions I’ve held
Around men and masculinity
Came bubbling upppp
My feminine wobbled like FUCK
But I called to my inner man
And of course, he answered immediately
I was steadied from within
It was beyond profound
And a truly magical experience
If you want to start to develop your inner relationship
Just set the intention
And follow your intuition
Play with it
Take yourself on the date that you’d love to go on
Feel into what you’d like to give and to receive
Be all the things you’ve dreamed ‘they’ would be
And watch yourself come to life

An interesting thing to explore is the location of Mars and Venus in your birth chart
This gives a flavour of the two aspects of your being…
It’s all within us
All we have to do is claim it
And know that we are deserving to do so.
Written by Jyoti Imix Ryder

Jyoti is skilled mystical coach and teacher. She supports individuals to rise into wholeness with her gentle, powerful and unconditionally loving presence. Working with her spirit team as a multi-dimensional channel, her superpowers are around activation and harmonisation.
Practicing Reiki for over a decade, and teaching it for over 4 years, she is an experienced and embodied guide. Receiving initiations in Bali, India, Australia, the America’s and the UK, the flavour of her space holding has been inspired by teachers across the world and throughout the dimensions. piercing through space/time and all aspects of the human experience.
Her human life has been filled with life/death/rebirth cycles and the transformation of trauma has brought her abilities into fruition. She lives the Human Experience fully and has shed the shame cape that kept her ancestors lights dimmed.

CELEBRATING A SISTER
This woman is MAGIC! Honestly I cannot sing louder about the potent healing, space holding and friendship I have experienced with Jyoti. We moved through similar circles in our student years and then as we both dived inwards we started showing up in each others circles again, this time in a deeply healing and connected way. I remember at the beginning of my inner expansion as I was journeying an online women’s circle that I was craving in person women’s circles. And so it was, Jyoti invited me to her womb circle and it was just the medicine I was yurning for. Fused with ritual, intention, safe space holding, connection, and inner journeying working with Jyoti developed working on deep work together with her as the facilitator. This nurtured our friendships into one where you don’t see each other for a while but when you do OHHHHH how the room lights up with deep connections and listening to each others recent experiences.

Jyoti is currently promoting her Seven Heavens Ecstatic Dance Session which runs from the 1st-7th January 8-10pm.
Jyoti is a trained 5 Elements Dance Practitioner and has an incredible collection of music to assist you in your ecstatic dance journey.

WHAT YOU WILL RECEIVE:
7x Online Ecstatic Dance Ceremonies Recorded and emailed for those unable to attend live
Over 10 hours of Music On Playlists you can access FOREVER
A Ceremonial Container
Supporting you to RISE
Tribal Sharing with Soul Family
Channelling from Sirius
Astrological Insights
And powerful guidance supporting you to TRULY embody 
As we cross the bridge together into 2021
ACTIVATED AND ALIVE
WWW.JYOTIOFFERINGS.COM/SEVENHEAVENS